On perfectly pointed toes I dance around the landmines that you planted for my unsuspecting soul
But even the most delicate steps can’t save you when the ground that was once secure falls from under your feet…
~l m d
Calling of the Crow
Outside they sat on barren trees
Their cries and cackles quite deafening
Murders waiting just outside the panes
Orange was the light that poured in to drape the walls in gold
I turned at last to face the devilish things that awaited
All at once away they flew
And suddenly all that I ever knew came crashing in on me
Grayness pushed out the last of the light and ushers in a lonely night
So I lay, still unmoving
Figures came to climb the walls and dance and laugh down empty halls
But still alone, I waited
The sun did rise and fall again countless times as I looked for them
Eyes began to beg not for sleep but of some promise of relief
Then bones and flesh began to ache.
Finally did they return, and on their wings away I few
With nothing but the thoughts me and you.
~l m d
Take me
Take me down your winding roads,
Leave me not in desolation.
I crave to know the depths of your soul and creep to every corner of your mind.
Dance with me to the symphony of pounding hearts and hesitant breaths,
Drown me in a river of your words until no other voice seems real,
Devour every inch of my being until it is consumed within your own and we are the same.
Let us fade into the passion as it engrosses us like a flame until we burn to embers
~l m d
In the Room
I lie numb and bleeding,
Staring at the streaks of light that cross the pale and popcorn sky.
Aching but empty, there is nothing but half opened eyes and staggered breaths.
So I lie, and I wait.
There is no certainty here and no clarity that shines through the fog of my mind.
Just me and the empty air that straggles me.
Slower are the breathes, and darker does it all become…
~ l m d
Glass House
You have always lived in a glass house.
When I found you, the vision was so enchanting that I didn’t mind being outside of it.
From there I watched your life play out, in stories and moments that you allowed for me to see.
These glimpses of you seemed so real that soon I believed that I was a part of it.
As time dragged on I began to resent the glass.
Desperately I tried to get to you, but you were locked inside.
In distress I beat against the glass, only to end carved up and bloodied.
Even then, standing in view, you never saw how I was bleeding or in need of you.
When the glass turned to stone and I could no longer glimpse into your life, I was forced to walk away.
As I made my way away I crossed my path with those who disguised themselves as friends.
But their touch was cold and harsh as they ripped into my skin, taking parts of me as they were pushed away.
The scars soon became the only comfort that I knew.
And now that you and all the ones who’ve come and gone are merely ghosts to me, I can finally see you better then I ever had before.
LWB
To The Boy Who Couldn’t Love Me,
I want you to know that I understand and that I’m sorry. I know that I am not easy to love, and I know that most of the time I didn’t make it easier. I know that you tried and I am so thankful for that. But I also know that the reason you could never say those words in return is because you never truly felt them. How could you if you never truly understood the devils that made their home within me.
Part of me is thankful for that too, because I know that is how you were able to move on so quickly and be around me so easily. Even while it’s killing me, I take comfort in knowing you are ok.
I know that you truly loved the person you wanted so desperately for me to be, and I wanted so badly to be for you, but I just couldn’t. And for that I’m sorry too. I wanted you to know me, but the girl you created was just too beautiful to kill.
I loved you immensely and will always want the best for you. So, I hope you find that girl, the one you wanted me to be. I hope she makes you happier than I ever could. I hope she loves you as much as I do, only better. And I hope you love her the way you thought you would be able to love me. But mostly importantly, I hope she’s nothing like me.
I hope she doesn’t dance down the aisles of the grocery store with you, or sing embarrassingly to rap songs in your car. I hope she doesn’t call you by your middle name, or tease you endlessly with sarcasm so thick it covers the love under it all. I hope she can’t go drink for drink with you, or match your love for tequila. But most importantly I hope she doesn’t struggle to show how much she loves you.
So here’s to a life that never fully got a chance to be lived.
Forever,
The girl that tried
Some Times
There will be times when the nights seem unending,
And times where giving in to endless sleep feels like a perfect comfort.
Sometimes, finding that the sun is rising again will be the hardest heartbreak.
There will be many times were you will sit amongst your demons and know them as your closest friends.
Sometimes, the misery that lives inside will swell up and claw against your skin until you let it flow out.
There will be times were emptiness envelopes you, and times where you will feel strangely at peace while you drown in sorrow.
Choose to live in these times, for you are strong.
~ l m d
Darkness
I am Darkness, and you called me by my name
So I ran into your light, thinking that you could truly see me.
Cautiously I bathed in it, letting the light soak in
But, when the light reached the depths of Darkness you saw the scars that lights had left before.
Overwhelmed and disgusted, you withdrew your light and chose to shine on more beautiful places.
Silently, I watched the light fade and Darkness pull me ever further into herself.
~ l m d
Winter
You can not claim to long for winter if you do not know her fully.
Until you know her cold and darkness, you are blinded by the beauty.
For snow will always look appealing, but few can stand its bite
~l m d
Unravel
I stood completely broken, gathered the pieces of myself around me, and tied it all in tight.
But, now I feel you pulling at the string.
~ l m d