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And as we sat in all consuming silence I felt everything collapse within me like a house of cards.

You never cared for me

You never saw me for anything that I was 

You merely craved the idea of me 

But I am a person who contains multitudes when what you needed was simplicity. 

I wished so badly in that moment to be as small and foolish as you’d made me feel. 

Because maybe if I was, I wouldn’t see how much nothingness was behind your eyes when you looked at me 

~l m d

And suddenly there it was, the end of anything else.
Between four simple walls emerged an entirely new universe existing of just you and I.
Begun by warm brown eyes and a knee-buckling smile.
Built stronger by each interlocked finger and lingering kiss.
Every touch of skin brings new comfort to a wounded heart.

If there is a world beyond this moment, it is foreign to me now.

The hope of a tomorrow in your arms consumes me.

If only this was a world that lived outside my mind.

He looked at me with eyes that I had seen rare few other times.
I knew in my bones that if he were to touch me I would burst into flames… but I so badly wanted to be set on fire.

~ l m d

You have always lived in a glass house.

When I found you, the vision was so enchanting that I didn’t mind being outside of it.

From there I watched your life play out, in stories and moments that you allowed for me to see.

These glimpses of you seemed so real that soon I believed that I was a part of it.

As time dragged on I began to resent the glass.

Desperately I tried to get to you, but you were locked inside.

In distress I beat against the glass, only to end carved up and bloodied.

Even then, standing in view, you never saw how I was bleeding or in need of you.

When the glass turned to stone and I could no longer glimpse into your life, I was forced to walk away.

As I made my way away I crossed my path with those who disguised themselves as friends.

But their touch was cold and harsh as they ripped into my skin, taking parts of me as they were pushed away.

The scars soon became the only comfort that I knew.

And now that you and all the ones who’ve come and gone are merely ghosts to me, I can finally see you better then I ever had before.

There will be times when the nights seem unending,
And times where giving in to endless sleep feels like a perfect comfort.
Sometimes, finding that the sun is rising again will be the hardest heartbreak. 
There will be many times were you will sit amongst your demons and know them as your closest friends. 
Sometimes, the misery that lives inside will swell up and claw against your skin until you let it flow out. 
There will be times were emptiness envelopes you, and times where you will feel strangely at peace while you drown in sorrow.
Choose to live in these times, for you are strong.

~ l m d

I am Darkness, and you called me by my name

So I ran into your light, thinking that you could truly see me.

Cautiously I bathed in it, letting the light soak in

But, when the light reached the depths of Darkness you saw the scars that lights had left before.

Overwhelmed and disgusted, you withdrew your light and chose to shine on more beautiful places.

Silently, I watched the light fade and Darkness pull me ever further into herself.

~ l m d

Hold tight

To the touch that makes you feel safe

To the smile that makes you feel seen

To the soul that makes you feel young

To the eyes that make you feel worthy

To the words that make you feel loved

To the days that make the lonely nights alright

Hold tight to what soon becomes memories.

~ l m d

The word is spoken as we are tangled up together, bodies pressed against each other. Comfortable, I begin to believe that the name means something to you. But, suddenly my elation turns to skepticism as I realize it is only when we are like this that I hear that word. All of my doubts come rushing back and overturning the glimmer of hope I had felt just moments ago. Is it just a coincidence or something painfully purposeful? I fear that it will be revealed to be the latter and I wonder how I will feel if it is the truth. For I’m not sure I could handle the taming of your tongue out of fear that it would speak the wrong name.

~ l m d

Lingering and ever-present is the ghost.

Fear floods my body when I finally feel settled,

For he would never truly let me be.

His fury threatens those ones around me,

So, in isolation I keep them safe.

I can not afford to be bold.

Slowly I shut the blinds and lock the doors.

Alone in the house it is just the ghost and I.

He speaks to me in past memories and shared tragedy,

Refusing to let me forget.

As if forgetting had ever been an option.

Around every corner I hesitate, afraid he will be there waiting.

I jump even when he isn’t there,

Because I know that when he catches me, I will be a ghost too.

~ l m d

I stand in awe of her.

The kindness of her soul knows no bounds and the warmth of her smile is contagious.

Her beauty penetrates the hearts of all she meets and leaves an everlasting impression.

She has wit and humor unmatched by any I’ve know before her.

She was kissed by the sun and with the wildness of the sea within her.

She is a fierce protector of those she loves, even at the expense of herself.

Bold and brave she fights through the world unafraid.

She is my person, and our hearts will remain tethered through this life.

For she has stolen so much of mine and I of hers that they are one.

~l m d